All about the Ass-Ripper

So, I love Pilates. I said to Diana (a girl in my class who's also one of the cool table girls in my Art 3 class) "wow, I feel like a little kid discovering my body for the first time." It's the coolest thing though, because I can feel the results after only like 4 weeks or maybe 5?

The instructor is I'd say in her 60's with the body of a 20 year old and she totally looks like tburnette from three's company.



Anwho, there's one weird thing about this class...An overweight woman in her late 40's rips the loudest ass I've ever heard. Every single class she does it. My sister tried holding back her laughter last week during class but couldn't and did the spitting laugh. You know the one, when you know you aren't supposed to laugh at something but you just can't hold it in and all at once it comes spitting out...almost like this woman's farting I guess.

What I don't understand is, how does she come to class twice a week making her nasty butt songs while everyone else is quiet and relaxed trying to concentrate?

Every class right after we get out my sister and I discuss this. Today she started the conversation with, "damn bitch, what are you eating? It sounded like she sharted today. The old man in our class doesn't even let loose." Oh, Alyssa.

My theory is she enjoys coming to class so she can release herself and doesn't care what anyone thinks. Okay, that's great and liberating, whatever. Why doesn't she drive her flatulent ass through McDonalds (cause you know she does) on her way to pilates with a personal trainer and spare the air for the people who aren't walking gas bubbles?

Anyone else have an ass-ripper in their class? Or, is anyone an ass-ripper who would like to defend this broad?